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The FANLESS Story So Far....
Don't waste your time on me; you're already...
As it turns out, I barely even knew what even was going on tonight.
I'm sorry to anyone that felt the effects of my (our??) drinking.
(especially my special lady friend?, our designated driver! The most important person of the night!!)
I blame the wine!
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Dear LiveUrinal Friends,
I miss you guys!
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This livejournal is 9 years old today.
suckability is 10 years old today!
Now you know.
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Do you remember me?
I didn't forget about you!!
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It's days like these where I wish I had a sibling to share this extra helping of bologna with.
Last Monday my dad suffered an acute myocardial infarction. Those are fancy words for a heart attack. He is no longer with us. I'll be flying to Seattle on Wednesday for services on Thursday in Othello, and a military honors service on Saturday when he's placed into a mausoleum at Calvary cemetery in Yakima. Clearly, this past week hasn't been one of my best! I felt like I had been dealing with everything pretty well, but yesterday felt extra difficult for some reason, and I was on the verge of something not awesome...
And then I went home for lunch and found an eviction notice taped to my door.
So, if you happen to know of a place on South Beach for under $800/month, please let me know!
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Dear Bestestest Internet Friends,
I'm pretty sure I've told you this before, but that was a long time ago, so I thought I would say it again.
I am on the twitter. Plz 2B my friend there, ok?
I will love you forever, and probably try to have sex with you, but you will like it!
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Hello again, internets!
I thought you might be interested in knowing that my mobile phone has a web server running on it, and you can login and take pictures with my phone's camera.
That is all for now.
If you get any loller pics, post them in the comments or add them to this pool. (My phone doesn't save the images you take.) http://www.flickr.com/groups/697662@N23/pool/
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Hello, internets.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm still not dead, I still miss you, and you can still marry me, if you want to.
That is all for now.
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FANLESS.com has been pretty much the same since 2001. Today it is different!
Pick a link and click on it. They should all go to the same place. If you want to read my freshest of fresh stuff, that's where you should go.

Also, you should add fanlessdotcom to your liveurinal friends. And if you REALLY want to stay on top of things, then add fanlesscomments too.

Please leave me tons of comments and stuff there so I feel cool!
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Take a picture of your computer with http://www.FANLESS.com/blog loaded with your phone, and send it to race26image2blog@photos.flickr.com .
Also, all ladies can send n00dz (of themselves) to that email address too!
NO LEMON PARTY/GOATSE/TUBGIRL/WHATEVERzOMG PICS PLZ!! I don't want my flickr account to get p0wnt.
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Today my fonts are drnk or on vacation!!

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A client sends me a mock up along with the images to be used on their card. I start creating the card and realize that they didn't send me one of the images that is in their mock up. I send them an email with an incomplete proof showing a blank space where the missing image should be, along with a note stating that I am missing one image.
They email me back with an image that they had already sent me, and is already on the proof. I email them back saying I already have that image and it is a different image I'm missing. Then they send me their mock up again! I email them again explaining once again that I already have the mock up... That's how I made the proof. But I'm still missing one image.
Today they sent me another image saying "Is this the right image?"
Guess what...? IT'S NOT THE RIGHT IMAGE!!

hello, turn on brain, please!
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I am currently dealing with a gnarly crush on a married woman! It's Mad Marge from Mad Marge and the Stonecutters.

I expect to be over Marge by the end of tomorrow, but what I don't expect to be over is this song stuck in my head!!

Sixpence None the Richer - Kiss Me? Give me a break!

F-you, NFG, for covering this song and getting it stuck in my head, and F-you Dawson's Creek for... for private reasons!

P.S.: Color me somewhat(LOL WHAT) impressed! <====I think maybe I WOULD!
Actually, I might have Karma Police stuck in my head now, thanks to this video. I could tell stories about this song and dropping acid, but I won't because my friend's wife might get upset and I don't have a reason to bring up old shit.

Oh, wait! One more Kiss Me video! This one is overflowing with lulz!!!

Ok, one more... The concept of this video is not total crap. Professionally done and I think it would be pretty good.

Listening to/watching all of these Kiss Me videos has kept me up past 3 AM zOMG and I have to work in the morning OH NOSE!!
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Dear innernets,
PLZ 2B my friend!
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Me: Jules (or Jewles, as I like to call him), did you know that Hitler started the Holocaust because a Jewish prostitute gave him syphilis?
Jules: I don't think that's true. Where did you hear that?
Me: Digg!
Jules: (eyeroll) That's just a conspiracy theory.
Me: Yeah, right! You just have trouble believing it because you don't want to believe that a jewish prostitute would give anyone syphilis.
Me: Everyone knows that a JEWISH prostitute would charge extra for that!
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Best email of the day!
P.S.: Yes, I know I'm fat. No, I don't plan on going on a diet! You're right, trucker hats are SO 2002 zOMG!! And thank you for noticing that my sweet, sweet beard is totally going gray. What do you want from me? I'M (almost) OLD!
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Here's an email I just received from one of my clients. Vote for her to be Maxim's next Hometown Hottie!

Hey everyone please show your support and vote for me!!! You can vote only once daily but for the next 30 days!!!!

thanks everyone and wish me luck!


resend this email to all your friends...thanks
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theres more than junk in this elephants trunkidity-trunk
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You can watch me watch motocross on the j00stream!
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I have 5 new Joost invites. If you have asked for one before and still need one, please ask again.
(I need an email address.)
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zOMG I'm on the innernets doing VERY exciting things!!!

(I guess I can't embed the video here.)=
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Hey, look! I'm on the innernets!!
This was Sunday.
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Well, we did it again! Mia made it to Round 2 3 of WILD 95.5's Baby Idol!
I don't know how many rounds are left, but please click on Mia's picture, give Mia a 10 and everyone else 1, and I'll be your best friend and all of your wildest dreams will come true. No, really!

It's not like you have anything better to do, and you love clicking on things.

Thanks again for your fealty!
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Thanks to your participation, Mia made it to Round 2 of WILD 95.5's Baby Idol!
Same deal as before... Please click on Mia's picture, give Mia a 10 and everyone else 1, and I'll be your best friend and all of your wildest dreams will come true.

Plus just think about it... When she becomes rich and famous you can be like "Dude, I voted for her way back when she won Baby Idol!"

Thank you for your fealty.
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Dear innernets,
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n00dz, originally uploaded by FANLESS.

How many Jews does it take to color correct a n00d?

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Today's dilemma is centered around what I should throw some money at.
~$200 for a Photoshop CS3 Upgrade? (so very moist with anticipation for this!)
~$310 for 3GB RAM for my hopefully-soon-to-be-arriving-iMac? (moist +1!)
~$450+ for new forks, bars, cranks, pedals, stem, pivotal seat/seat post, grips, detangler, chainring, brake lever, chain, and cables for my Pork? (I've been waiting to get this stuff for so long I'm almost over it already)
or... ~$400+ to fly to the Seattle Supercross?
If I don't make a decision soon I'll end up blowing double that much at Club Madonna!
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